L.

While this blog is primarily for posts about my medical school adventures, my family, and food, I need to take a minute and write about a good friend that I lost last week.

Dear L.,

I know I should not be sad that you were called to be with our Lord last week.  But I'm sad that I never got to say goodbye and tell you how much you meant to me.  I don't know how you died, or whether you knew you were leaving this world, or whether you were able to say goodbye to your family.  But I do know that you passed away having lived a good, full, faithful life.  You set a wonderful example for anyone you met.  I look to your example and see how to be a good wife, a good mother, a good Christian.  You never complained about anything.  Your moral compass was always spot-on.  You always saw the positive in any situation.  You loved everyone, especially your family, and never hesitated to help anyone in need.

I remember the year we met.  I was a sophomore and you were a freshman in college.  We lived on the same floor of our dorm.  You were right across the hall.  I had crazy roommates so I spent a lot of time in your room.  We went shopping together.  We watched basketball together.  We partied together.  A lot.

We went to the mexican restaurant where you could get served a margarita without being carded.  Foolproof, we were told.  Just smile and order one and you'll get it.  But we were carded.  Probably because we looked like we weren't even old enough to drive.

We moved out of the dorms but still found time to be together.  I'll never forget our road trip to Yellowstone.  You might have been the smallest, but you were the toughest one of all four of us when we hiked.  My heart nearly stopped when you calmly pointed out fresh, still warm bear droppings on the trail.  One night we played pool in Bozeman, and I remember thinking about how I didn't really like playing pool but it's fun if you're playing with people you love.

I remember when you met "J".  You thought he could be "the one".  I thought you were crazy.  Then I met him and realized that you were right.

We graduated; first me, then you.  We became roommates, with real jobs and real responsibility.  You were a fantastic roommate.  There was never any drama, only friendship.  When your bathroom flooded we laughed about it together.  You didn't make fun of my cinnamon rolls that did not taste like cinnamon; you gladly ate them (after generously adding your own sprinkle of cinnamon on top).  I remember going shopping with you to pick out the perfect puppy.  Your dog liked to pull the buttons off my coats, but I liked to take him running and wear him out as payback.  When "J" came over, it was never awkward.  It never felt like "that boyfriend who is always there".  You both were like family to me.

I got married.  You were there with me every minute that day as my "personal attendant".  I will never forget that.  To this day, I wish I would have made you my maid of honor.  In retrospect, you deserved that title more than anyone I knew that day.

You got married.  I was one of your bridesmaids.  I was pregnant but I wasn't ready to tell you yet.  Thankfully, I still fit into my dress.  I will never forget when we went to get your hair done before the wedding.  I wanted to take a nice "after" picture and at the last minute you made a bridezilla face.  Typical.

After that, life got in the way of us spending time together, but you remained very special to me.  You transformed into something even more wonderful than I could have imagined when your first baby was born.  You were meant to be a mother.  And a wonderful one you were.

Neither one of us liked to talk on the phone, and the emails slowly dwindled into occasional Facebook posts.  I wish we could have had more playdates with the kids.  The dinners together were too few and far between.  In the last couple of years, I could have made more of an effort to see you.  Last year I drove through your town almost every week, but although I always thought of you, I never stopped to see you.  Most recently, we were only a short drive away from each other.  We were busy, but had I had any idea what was coming, I would have made more time for you.

You taught me so much about life and what it means to truly live with no regrets.  As I watch your sons grow into men, I'll see you in them.  And they will know the wonderful woman that you were.

Your friend always,
P.