While being a mother and a medical student is a whole new level of craziness, successfully balancing marriage and medical school is a feat in itself. Things especially get sticky when the spouse is in his or her own successful and dynamic career, rather than just keeping a job to pay the bills. While we all want to focus on ourselves and our own budding careers, it's hard to stop and remember that your spouse has worked hard to get to where he or she is today and must be given support and opportunity for success, as well as respite after a particularly rough day or week. Not to mention that they are financially supporting you and the rest of the family despite the money pit us med students are digging.
It's pretty easy to butt heads, especially when careers and kids are both thrown in the same mix. Who sacrifices at work/school if the kids are sick and must stay home? The person making the money, or the person in whose future career the money is being invested?
The solution is a lot of sacrifice, adapability, and faith. So far, we have a pretty good system going. Since I'm not on rotations at the hospital yet, my schedule is pretty flexible. Most days I am able to stay home and podcast the day's lectures if something comes up. And the days that I cannot do that, my husband has been able to work from home.
It helps us to take a few minutes whenever possible to reconnect as a couple and talk about anything not school or kid related. The husband and I enjoyed a quiet dinner and glass of wine this evening after the baby went to bed, while the older kids played together quietly in another room. Some days I crave an entire weekend getaway, just him and I in some warm sunny location, alone... but most days this is enough.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
All Things Neuro
So it has definitely shaped up to be a ridiculously crazy module. Pair that with my new inability to stay up past 9 pm half the week and you get to where I am: lots to learn, with the clock ticking. You know it's bad when you struggle to stay up later than your kids (all under 5; these are not high-school night owls or anything).
My Brain and Behavior final exam is a week and a half away. I've put everything on hold this past week to study anatomy, as we have a head and neck anatomy practical the same week as the exam, worth approximately 1/3 of our grade. Yikes.
My poor kids have been subjected to my endless practicing of parts of the neuro exam or head & neck exam on them. Although they are too ticklish for me to successfully palpate any cervical lymph nodes.
I really like the current module (well, except for the intricate anatomy). I could even realistically see neurology in my future. Sometimes I wish I could just slow things down and actually focus on learning because I want to, rather than learning for the exam and boards. Sometimes I feel as if that is a great injustice of medical education-- not having the luxury to spend more time learning what truly interests you at the moment that it begins to interest you.
I guess that is what residency and fellowship is for.
My Brain and Behavior final exam is a week and a half away. I've put everything on hold this past week to study anatomy, as we have a head and neck anatomy practical the same week as the exam, worth approximately 1/3 of our grade. Yikes.
My poor kids have been subjected to my endless practicing of parts of the neuro exam or head & neck exam on them. Although they are too ticklish for me to successfully palpate any cervical lymph nodes.
I really like the current module (well, except for the intricate anatomy). I could even realistically see neurology in my future. Sometimes I wish I could just slow things down and actually focus on learning because I want to, rather than learning for the exam and boards. Sometimes I feel as if that is a great injustice of medical education-- not having the luxury to spend more time learning what truly interests you at the moment that it begins to interest you.
I guess that is what residency and fellowship is for.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Black (Olive) Magic
I recently found a revelation of a recipe for marinated black olives here. Now I'm not normally a fan of black olives, but this simple marinade elevates them (and anything served with them) to a whole new level.
I've served the olives as is, with feta or cubed mozzarella tossed in, or as a component of pasta salad (marinade and all). It's my new favorite way to eat black olives and a staple go-to recipe for parties and the hubby's work luncheons.
Last night I stepped it up a notch and created an amazing dinner using a double batch of the marinade (minus the olives). I added a few tablespoons to chicken breasts and let them marinate for a couple of hours. I tossed some raw whole carrots and hearts of romaine in a few more tablespoons of the marinade. I added the rest to a couple of seedless cucumbers that I diced.
While hubby grilled the chicken, carrots, and romaine, I made some couscous. Once everything was done cooking, I sliced the grilled romaine and tossed it with the couscous and a little parmesan. I served the chicken breasts atop the couscous, and topped the whole thing with the marinated cucumbers. I garnished this with some shaved parmesan and served the carrots on the side.
Heaven on a plate. It was delicious and healthy, and something I'll be repeating quite often. I know a picture would be helpful, but the food didn't remain untouched for very long.
The best part was my kids picking the parmesan shavings off the top and talking about how much they love eating "stinky cheese".
I've served the olives as is, with feta or cubed mozzarella tossed in, or as a component of pasta salad (marinade and all). It's my new favorite way to eat black olives and a staple go-to recipe for parties and the hubby's work luncheons.
Last night I stepped it up a notch and created an amazing dinner using a double batch of the marinade (minus the olives). I added a few tablespoons to chicken breasts and let them marinate for a couple of hours. I tossed some raw whole carrots and hearts of romaine in a few more tablespoons of the marinade. I added the rest to a couple of seedless cucumbers that I diced.
While hubby grilled the chicken, carrots, and romaine, I made some couscous. Once everything was done cooking, I sliced the grilled romaine and tossed it with the couscous and a little parmesan. I served the chicken breasts atop the couscous, and topped the whole thing with the marinated cucumbers. I garnished this with some shaved parmesan and served the carrots on the side.
Heaven on a plate. It was delicious and healthy, and something I'll be repeating quite often. I know a picture would be helpful, but the food didn't remain untouched for very long.
The best part was my kids picking the parmesan shavings off the top and talking about how much they love eating "stinky cheese".
Friday, October 7, 2011
You know you're a medical student when...
10. Your instructor cites Wikipedia in their lecture.
9. Hearing "Step 1" sends chills down your spine.
8. You snack A LOT.
7. Four words: high yield, low yield.
6. You plan your life around test dates.
5. You have no problems discussing a cadaver dissection while eating. Or discussing food while dissecting a cadaver.
4. You stress that you're not stressed enough.
3. Having lunch with your friends involves laptop computers.
2. You feel helpless if you go anywhere without your computer.
1. You can't listen to people speak at length without having the urge to speed them up to 1.5 or 2x speed.
What would you add to this list?
9. Hearing "Step 1" sends chills down your spine.
8. You snack A LOT.
7. Four words: high yield, low yield.
6. You plan your life around test dates.
5. You have no problems discussing a cadaver dissection while eating. Or discussing food while dissecting a cadaver.
4. You stress that you're not stressed enough.
3. Having lunch with your friends involves laptop computers.
2. You feel helpless if you go anywhere without your computer.
1. You can't listen to people speak at length without having the urge to speed them up to 1.5 or 2x speed.
What would you add to this list?
On Kids and Medical School
While I was extremely nervous about this balancing act before starting med school, I was fortunate enough to meet other students in my class who are also parents. Now, I will say that in my opinion, it is very different being a dad vs a mom in medical school. Traditionally, mothers are the primary caregivers of children regardless of whether or not they work outside the home, while it is generally more acceptable for fathers to focus more on their careers and less on day-to-day family life. I fully embrace this. Women were designed and wired to do this, more so when our children are small and very dependent on us for everything. We are smart, patient, strong, and connected.
There's definitely a choice to be made when faced with balancing motherhood and a rigorous career. I carefully chose to be mom first, med student second. No matter what. So my daily schedule revolves around meeting the needs of my family before school-related stuff. Some days this is harder than others, and I want to just scream "don't you people understand that I'm a medical student?!?!". Thankfully, I am able to stop myself by remembering the sacrifices my family is making every day for me. My sacrifices pale in comparison. I'm actually rewarded. Every day. I'm doing what I love, and reaffirming every day that I really do love what I do.
It's easy to think I'm nuts. That I'm not fully taking advantage of my medical training by focusing all of my time studying. That I'm not giving back to the community enough as a future physician. That I'm just studying enough to get by. Well, it is just not true.
My study time is more efficient than it ever has been, and I'm amazed at how much I'm learning every week (and how well it sticks!). I manage to find time once a month to serve as a "Student Physician" at my school's free clinic, and integrate what I learn in the classroom with these clinical experiences. I remain aware of the USMLE Step 1 monster that awaits me next summer (although I haven't officially begun studying for that just yet).
The icing on the cake is the lesson I am teaching my kids. That it's never too late, that you never have to settle for second best. That's it's ok to work hard and reach for the stars, and if you fall, just get up and do it again. That you don't have to be #1 in everything as long as you give everything to what it is you're doing. That religion and science are fully compatible no matter what others may say on the contrary. That marriage is a partnership centered around self-sacrifice, and not something you take for granted. That family is forever, and everything else comes second.
Including medical school.
There's definitely a choice to be made when faced with balancing motherhood and a rigorous career. I carefully chose to be mom first, med student second. No matter what. So my daily schedule revolves around meeting the needs of my family before school-related stuff. Some days this is harder than others, and I want to just scream "don't you people understand that I'm a medical student?!?!". Thankfully, I am able to stop myself by remembering the sacrifices my family is making every day for me. My sacrifices pale in comparison. I'm actually rewarded. Every day. I'm doing what I love, and reaffirming every day that I really do love what I do.
It's easy to think I'm nuts. That I'm not fully taking advantage of my medical training by focusing all of my time studying. That I'm not giving back to the community enough as a future physician. That I'm just studying enough to get by. Well, it is just not true.
My study time is more efficient than it ever has been, and I'm amazed at how much I'm learning every week (and how well it sticks!). I manage to find time once a month to serve as a "Student Physician" at my school's free clinic, and integrate what I learn in the classroom with these clinical experiences. I remain aware of the USMLE Step 1 monster that awaits me next summer (although I haven't officially begun studying for that just yet).
The icing on the cake is the lesson I am teaching my kids. That it's never too late, that you never have to settle for second best. That's it's ok to work hard and reach for the stars, and if you fall, just get up and do it again. That you don't have to be #1 in everything as long as you give everything to what it is you're doing. That religion and science are fully compatible no matter what others may say on the contrary. That marriage is a partnership centered around self-sacrifice, and not something you take for granted. That family is forever, and everything else comes second.
Including medical school.
Swimming in the Deep End
My life right now as a mommy/wife/M2 is a little like swimming in the deep end of a pool. It takes some coordination and endurance. It's tough but not impossible. And if you stop, you drown.
On any given day, I wake up, get myself ready, get all 3 kids ready, pack 2 lunches, and pack my backpack. All before 7 am. Then comes a 30 minute commute (with the husband and kids-- we carpool, which is pretty awesome as it gives us a chance to squeeze in some extra togetherness). Then classes all morning, followed by either an afternoon learning activity (dissection, PBL, small group discussion) or quiet study at the library. Then the carpool commute home. Then I feed the baby while I cook dinner. Then eat, clean up, and sit down to study. Most days this works well, but some days I spend only a few minutes at my computer studying before I find myself falling asleep.
Am I tired? Yes.
But I'll keep treading water for as long as it takes.
On any given day, I wake up, get myself ready, get all 3 kids ready, pack 2 lunches, and pack my backpack. All before 7 am. Then comes a 30 minute commute (with the husband and kids-- we carpool, which is pretty awesome as it gives us a chance to squeeze in some extra togetherness). Then classes all morning, followed by either an afternoon learning activity (dissection, PBL, small group discussion) or quiet study at the library. Then the carpool commute home. Then I feed the baby while I cook dinner. Then eat, clean up, and sit down to study. Most days this works well, but some days I spend only a few minutes at my computer studying before I find myself falling asleep.
Am I tired? Yes.
But I'll keep treading water for as long as it takes.
The Beast that is Second Year
So, I started a blog in July. Enthusiastically. And then second year started and it all hit the fan. Now it is October.
For a blogger, that's an epic fail. I apologize for that (I guess that goes to you, my two whole followers, that I happen to see in person every day).
It's not that second year is that much harder than first year was. It isn't. There's just so much more coming at you all at once, and it's impossible to learn everything. Have you ever heard of the fire hose analogy? In the medical community, it is said that med school is like drinking from a fire hose. You can only drink a fraction of the water coming at you. I never really believed that analogy to be true until this year, and I have to say that it explains second year very well. There's so much material to learn, and although it is (mostly) fascinating, you just can't learn everything. I've had to learn to separate the meat and potatoes from the... parsley?... and focus on what's most important. It doesn't help that we have required afternoon activities about 3 days per week, leaving even less time for independent study.
Computer in my lap, glass of wine in hand, and ideas in my head. Here come a few posts. And I promise I won't abandon Mommy MD-To-Be for this long again.
For a blogger, that's an epic fail. I apologize for that (I guess that goes to you, my two whole followers, that I happen to see in person every day).
It's not that second year is that much harder than first year was. It isn't. There's just so much more coming at you all at once, and it's impossible to learn everything. Have you ever heard of the fire hose analogy? In the medical community, it is said that med school is like drinking from a fire hose. You can only drink a fraction of the water coming at you. I never really believed that analogy to be true until this year, and I have to say that it explains second year very well. There's so much material to learn, and although it is (mostly) fascinating, you just can't learn everything. I've had to learn to separate the meat and potatoes from the... parsley?... and focus on what's most important. It doesn't help that we have required afternoon activities about 3 days per week, leaving even less time for independent study.
Computer in my lap, glass of wine in hand, and ideas in my head. Here come a few posts. And I promise I won't abandon Mommy MD-To-Be for this long again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)