While I was extremely nervous about this balancing act before starting med school, I was fortunate enough to meet other students in my class who are also parents. Now, I will say that in my opinion, it is very different being a dad vs a mom in medical school. Traditionally, mothers are the primary caregivers of children regardless of whether or not they work outside the home, while it is generally more acceptable for fathers to focus more on their careers and less on day-to-day family life. I fully embrace this. Women were designed and wired to do this, more so when our children are small and very dependent on us for everything. We are smart, patient, strong, and connected.
There's definitely a choice to be made when faced with balancing motherhood and a rigorous career. I carefully chose to be mom first, med student second. No matter what. So my daily schedule revolves around meeting the needs of my family before school-related stuff. Some days this is harder than others, and I want to just scream "don't you people understand that I'm a medical student?!?!". Thankfully, I am able to stop myself by remembering the sacrifices my family is making every day for me. My sacrifices pale in comparison. I'm actually rewarded. Every day. I'm doing what I love, and reaffirming every day that I really do love what I do.
It's easy to think I'm nuts. That I'm not fully taking advantage of my medical training by focusing all of my time studying. That I'm not giving back to the community enough as a future physician. That I'm just studying enough to get by. Well, it is just not true.
My study time is more efficient than it ever has been, and I'm amazed at how much I'm learning every week (and how well it sticks!). I manage to find time once a month to serve as a "Student Physician" at my school's free clinic, and integrate what I learn in the classroom with these clinical experiences. I remain aware of the USMLE Step 1 monster that awaits me next summer (although I haven't officially begun studying for that just yet).
The icing on the cake is the lesson I am teaching my kids. That it's never too late, that you never have to settle for second best. That's it's ok to work hard and reach for the stars, and if you fall, just get up and do it again. That you don't have to be #1 in everything as long as you give everything to what it is you're doing. That religion and science are fully compatible no matter what others may say on the contrary. That marriage is a partnership centered around self-sacrifice, and not something you take for granted. That family is forever, and everything else comes second.
Including medical school.
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