While being a mother and a medical student is a whole new level of craziness, successfully balancing marriage and medical school is a feat in itself. Things especially get sticky when the spouse is in his or her own successful and dynamic career, rather than just keeping a job to pay the bills. While we all want to focus on ourselves and our own budding careers, it's hard to stop and remember that your spouse has worked hard to get to where he or she is today and must be given support and opportunity for success, as well as respite after a particularly rough day or week. Not to mention that they are financially supporting you and the rest of the family despite the money pit us med students are digging.
It's pretty easy to butt heads, especially when careers and kids are both thrown in the same mix. Who sacrifices at work/school if the kids are sick and must stay home? The person making the money, or the person in whose future career the money is being invested?
The solution is a lot of sacrifice, adapability, and faith. So far, we have a pretty good system going. Since I'm not on rotations at the hospital yet, my schedule is pretty flexible. Most days I am able to stay home and podcast the day's lectures if something comes up. And the days that I cannot do that, my husband has been able to work from home.
It helps us to take a few minutes whenever possible to reconnect as a couple and talk about anything not school or kid related. The husband and I enjoyed a quiet dinner and glass of wine this evening after the baby went to bed, while the older kids played together quietly in another room. Some days I crave an entire weekend getaway, just him and I in some warm sunny location, alone... but most days this is enough.
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